When I was little my parents made sure I would learn how to swim. 

They figured that since we 
lived next to Lake Michigan 
that if I didn't learn to swim, 
it'd be wrong. 

It would be just wrong to 
live next to a Great Lake 
and not learn 
how to manage 
the waves. 

So when I was four I was put in swimming lessons. 
Here I'd be able to learn. 

I'd get a feel for the water 
and the way your eyes burn 
when you've been exposed 
to the chlorine. 
Yes, I think I had goggles
but you know what I mean. 

Feeling the flow of the water wasn't really scary. They strapped me into those floaties so 
I'd always be carried. 

Eventually you learn to let those floaties go. 

After time the deep end becomes the real prize. 
You know, when you first learn to swim you start with just a toe?
You dip it in the cool water
and then 

s l o w l y 


you put in a little more and keep going until 
your feet finally touch the floor 
of the swimming pool. 

It can take some time to get to the deep end. Some people love to just dive in. 
Not me.
I had to work my way up. 
Finally, when I did it 
I felt like the ultimate winner - 
like I was a real Olympic swimmer. 

I'd need a gold medal to showcase my mettle and to display to the world 
how I made it to the deep end 
and I'd be unforgettable! 
Little me, tiny little me -  
can you imagine? 

With all of the lessons I was more than prepared for Lake Michigan. 
I was prepared for the salty oceans, the streams, rivers and the little ponds. 
There was not a single body 
of water that I'd not dive upon. 

Head first as I
submerge 
myself into the wells of the world 
where maybe
just maybe 
I'd learn
something new about myself and everybody else. 

In the process of it all, it seems like it was so long ago 
that I really learned 
what it meant to 
go off the deep end. 

The deep end endeavor 
is all too heavy 
for any regular swimmer 
to comprehend. 

You'd need pristine training, and 
even then - 
you might not fit in. 
Sorry to be blunt, not everyone is meant for the deep end. 
I was just a lucky one. You might think of it as chosen. 

By experiencing the deep end, 
I learned not to depend. 

F r e e z i n g.

Ice cold waves resemble the ways 
of old and familiar former companions 
who shapeshifted into shadows and
who all became so shallow. 

S W I M. 

The waves, broken 
and choppy, 
they'll push you around 
and pull you down. 

Ride them. 

They will always try to drown, but there's a secret. 
Listen. 

In the deep end you can never feel the bottom. 
That may be part of the problem; 
In the deep end do you have 
the ability to feel? 
Or comprehend what is even real 
if you never hit the bottom? 

Once you've been in the deep end for a while, you despise all things shallow. 

When they say I've gone off the deep end, just know that it's true. I was built for this; no, trained for this. Not everyone can handle the deep end blues. 

Not everyone can swim. 
Not everyone can handle 
the weight of the waves.
Can you?