Relationships & Intimacy

Experiences

Relationship and intimacy are both words that everyone is aware of. We all know what those words mean, right? Of course! But the thing is with these words, not all of us have the same definition for those words. The word relationship can mean romantic, familial, or even friendship. It just depends on how YOU look it. The same thing with intimacy. When you think of intimacy, the first idea that comes to your mind might not be the same idea that first comes to another. There’s nothing wrong with this, but the main thing we can conclude from these two words is their importance in our lives.

When I think of relationships from my past, many people come to my mind. Not just in a romantic way. I think of family relationships, friendships, and people who have been in my life for a long time, or a short period of time. The word relationship can be applied to many connections, not just romantic ones. It seems that people can be confused by that concept, or downright disagree. Not every person you vibe with needs to lay in your bed! There can be some sort of relationship without a sexual element. There are a few different relationship types I can think of, each of them providing its own form of intimacy. 

  • Family relationships.
  • Friendships.
  • Acquaintances.
  • Romantic relationships.
  • Sexual relationships.
  • Work relationships.
  • Situational relationships

When riding the waves of life, you are bound to experience some, if not most of these. This list of relationships just makes me think of a kid walking into a candy shop. He can pick and choose whatever he’d like since there are so many. In reality, though, do we really get to pick and choose our relationships and what type of relationship they are? Or who they are with? Sometimes. It all depends.

When it comes to family, for me personally, I was not brought up with very many positive family relationships. Most of the time, I was surrounded by people or experiences that I was able to learn from whether they were a positive or negative factor in my life. Each family experience I’ve had has made me a better person, and I wouldn’t change anything.

When it comes to friends, I think I was lucky! I have an abundant amount of them, even if some I’ve never met personally (which is quite acceptable in this technological era we live in). And by abundant, I mean in quality – not quantity. There is truly a major difference between the two. I’d take a quality friendship over quantity any day.

With romantic relationships, I’ve had a few serious ones. Sometimes I wonder about certain relationships I’ve had, and I think that I’ve experienced true love so young that I shouldn’t bother even searching for it anymore because I know what it feels like.

Work relationships often can turn out like family if you so choose. I’ve had it happen, and one of my best friends started out with a work relationship. 

Situational relationships do exist. Yes, many of us are “guilty” of those. As much as we judge others, we should also be looking at our own selves. It’s important to look within yourself, instead of focusing on others or trying to put a spotlight on their problems. Everyone is guilty of something.

When thinking of who my best friend is, a couple people come to mind. The first one is my son. The second one is someone dear, who lives in another time zone. The third is someone completely untouchable. The fourth is a friend of mine from a former workplace. She helped me through many things in my life and always gives the best advice. I’m so grateful for her and her logic! Although we don’t talk as much as we once did, my love for her will absolutely never change. 

Sometimes we have a tendency to stay in relationships that we should have left, YESTERDAY. Yes, I am the first to admit there was a relationship I spent too long in. I’m positive many people can relate to that. I spent too much time in two of them actually. When I did that, it really caused me to lose myself in someone else. (Never doing that again.) They were both really good learning lessons for me. The thought of staying together “for the kids” is what many people think is the right thing to do. In some cases, it could be the opposite. There are also times when we have this tendency to rush in relationships. I’ve rushed things in my past. What I learned from it is to never do that again. Relationships of all kinds have many ups and downs. It’s just important to maintain balance.

Some people are just strategically placed into your life at certain times. It feels that way at least, doesn’t it? My favorite friendship story is the one where I met one of my best friends at work. The story is great because our friendship was real and natural, and we bonded like sisters. We’ve even spent holidays together! There’s nothing better in this world than true genuine friendships with deep connections.

Deeply connected means mental/intellectual, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and sexual connections (in some relationships). When you are deeply connected to someone you will have the ability to vibe on every single level. Since I’ve experienced feelings like this before, I’d never settle for less again. My role in such a deeply connected relationship would be to give what I want to receive; To listen but also to teach! To me, these deeply rooted connections are the truest form of intimacy.