The Homemaker: A Poem

Poetry
On a Saturday afternoon, 
When the sun is out, and the sky is bright blue,
I’m in the house stuck again.
All alone and dancing in my room,
With a vacuum in hand.

I remember your face and the things that you said.
You don’t remember of course,
But I’ll never forget.
Now I’ll dance with my vacuum instead of with you.

I open the window to let in some fresh air.
Make my way down the three flights of stairs.
Just to wash all the laundry, I see images of you
In my mind, they taunt me.
Loading the clothes bit by bit,
I wash them and you as I close the lid.

Carrying my soap and basket
Back up the stairs, it’s not so bad I say,
Carrying the weight of my fears.
The weight of the years, the ones spent.
The time wasted that I won’t get back.

Into the kitchen now, here I go.
A sink full of dishes is waiting for me.
They’ve been there forever, just like I waited for you.
Those dishes can’t sit much longer,
We can’t live that way.
Soak them in suds, watch it go down the drain.

Turn around now, and I stare at the floor.
Bits and crumbs, tiny pieces on the tile.
The walls close in, and I feel the pressure.
Grabbing the broom hardly even remembering your smile.
Sweeping myself off my feet as I sweep the kitchen,
You’d be silly to think I even miss you a smidgen.

Hot water now fills up a bucket.
Another romantic date with my mop.
This is what I signed up for,
It’s exactly what I wanted.
Did you think I’d be your little puppet?
You had them lined up.
No use for me.
The truth would have been good.
Or maybe even sympathy.
Dirty mop water, pour it all out.
Like I did with my heart,
And you flushed it all down.
Not a care in the world, you don’t hear a single sound.

I make.
There’s a pot on the stove,
It’s been cooking all day.
Stirring and stirring, daydreaming as I go my own way.
Who is better at stirring the pot?
Is it me or is it you?
Because it’s not just myself who I need to feed,
But the little one who is relying on me.

What is a bathroom break when you must clean the bathroom?
Bleach, baking soda, and mini cleaning brushes,
Are part of my auxiliary.
It’s standard for the code, luxury is forebode.
Don't get caught taking a breather.
Scrubbing the shower, I scour and scour.
Pretending I could scrub you just the same,
But off of my skin.

Dusting the shelves and little knick knacks is part of the routine.
When cleaning the home, I’m also cleaning me!
I polish the floors, while you polish your whores.
When I caress the dishes, you are giving kisses.
I wash the tub, and I dry the puddles.
Reminiscent of the time when I wasn’t sitting in a muddle.

What touch feels like now is a mystery to me.
But then again, so are communication, respect, and boundaries.
The night comes fast, almost too quickly.
I still have one task to complete swiftly.
On top of the cooking and cleaning, I take out the trash.
Symbolic, I think, as I laugh and I laugh.
The house is sparkly and gleaming.

But a repair needs to be made, so I’ve learned how to do it.
I do your job now since you’re not around.
I don’t mind it at all, in fact, it’s quite profound.
The things you’ve taught me just by disappearing, I find quite endearing.

While you’re out nailing and screwing, I’m doing the same.
The only difference is the things you nail and screw actually breathe and have a name.

Time Does Not Exist

Poetry
The first time I saw your face
My heart sank into my chest 
It fell into my stomach!

My eyes could not believe the sight 
You took over my entire being 
No one else had any meaning.

How could I be so lucky?
You just fell into my life 
On one of the worst nights. 

I could get lost in you, 
Like you could get lost in me, 
It’s been years now and -  

My feeling only grows deeper. 
If there was ever a time I was not sure, 
It’s not today. 

I made some mistakes 
But still, I cannot ever replace you. 


I don’t want to go back and forth 
Or waste any more time. 
It is easy to see 

That you should be mine. 

I am addicted to your mind. 
When I look into your eyes 
I feel like I am home. 

This is where I want to be and this is where I will stay. 
Only if you let me. 
Just let me stay, 
I’ll be with you forever. 



I will never leave your side. 
You mean more to me than most, 
And more than you will probably ever know!

My words written can never explain. 
They will never portray! 

It would be impossible to capture how I feel. 
Trying to catch that feeling and make it tangible, 
Just to show you that it's real. 

It can’t happen. 
I just need you to believe 
In the chemistry. 

When I’m with you 
Time Does Not Exist. 
You always notice the little things. 

The important ones. 
You remember. 
Can you be yourself with me? 
I can with you. 

It’s hard to do with others, 
But they don’t matter now. 
Focused. 
We are focused. 

When you smile at me 
I know what it means. 

With you, everything feels different. 
It feels right. 
Let me keep you forever,
Brilliant. 

Like a bright light. 
You showed me how to love again, 
And how to be a friend. 

In the darkest times, 
My soul was lost. 
Now it has been found. 
To you, I owe many things.
A teacher and a lover. 
A true best friend. 

Let me keep you forever, 
For me, there is no one better.  

Sweet as honey.  
I Love you endlessly because 
With you it's always sunny.