Overcoming Obstacles: How?

How To's, Thoughts

This week I’ve started thinking about obstacles that I faced in my past. Thinking about the past and what we have endured can help us plan a better future. With the experience of the past, we learn not to make the same mistakes over and over.

As a teenager and young adult, I felt this huge desire to want to fit in. The only problem is that I never did for some reason or another. I was a white kid, in a predominantly Latino/African-American school. I listened to rap music, and also rock. (Which was not really cool when I was a freshman.) My horizon was broad as far as cultures, music, and things of that sort; but only a fraction of what it is now. (Thankfully!) With so many interests, you’d think I’d have fit in somewhere, but not really.

On top of that, it was hard to fit in when I could not relate to the other kids I knew in high school. My situation at home was bizarre. I survived off of Instant rice, and hot Cheetos. Junk food was the main staple of my teenage diet. My bed was on the floor. Just a mattress with no boxspring. At one point I was sleeping on JUST a box spring. I’d rather have slept on the floor most nights.

Other kids had large families and were involved in the school clubs and sports. I tried that. It didn’t work. I was a chain smoker at 15 years old and would rather not even discuss the other unmentionables that I did. Listening to 2 Live Crew in the morning on the way to school, and Led Zeppelin on the way home I was just a strange kid. Of course, there is an explanation for everything I’ve mentioned. It all has some sort of underlying reason or story. It’s all part of my experience in this life and has helped make me who I am. How? I won’t give that away just yet, or the other horror stories, tragedies, and romances of my life. No, not yet. That’s not the purpose of this blog.

The purpose is that I overcame what I’d experienced in my childhood and teen years, and some of my adulthood. I did it in a way of learning hard life lessons and self-teaching. In fact, I may be overcoming still. In a way – we all are every single day. When you think of obstacles, it’s easy to just get caught up in the misery of them. It’s easy to just think of the obstacle itself and think of how miserable you are, and complain about it all and sulk in your own sadness while you drown in self-pity! The hard part is overcoming the obstacle, whatever it may be. In order to overcome – you need to take action.

There are a few different ways to do it. Everyone will develop their own ways and methods of achieving success in what they desire and overcoming those obstacles that hold them back. For me personally, I think with my desire to fit in, the best way that I overcame that was just accepting the fact that I didn’t HAVE TO fit in. Acceptance was part of my method. I accepted who I was and who I am. I accepted my own truths, abilities, flaws, and uniqueness. Accepting the fact that I was not like everyone else allowed me this sense of mental freedom that I didn’t have before.

At many points in my past, I was so worried about what others thought of me, (especially considering certain events that took place in my life and within the family) that you could say I was living for them and not my own self. If you feel that way, I kindly suggest that you also start to try to overcome your own obstacles. Obstacles are not all that terrible. We do learn from them. They are there for a reason. It’s important to jump and climb over them instead of laying stagnant forever. You need to take action!

  • Focusing on yourself and the issue at hand is the first and foremost way of overcoming the obstacle that you face. If you are constantly wrapped up in the news, media, or politics, that is going to leave you very little time to focus on the number one person in your life. (You)! When you catch yourself getting angry at small things that actually don’t concern you (like what’s happening with the Kardashians for example), you are wasting your time and energy. Catch yourself in the moment of those habits and redirect your thoughts and energy into thinking about you and what YOU need to accomplish.
  • When you start to worry about yourself, something magical happens. Once you are rewired to focus on you and yourself you will start to want to achieve goals once the hurdle over the obstacle is finished. You need to make a game plan to surmount what you are facing. Be real and honest with yourself. It is key for success. If there is something you need to complete and get over, the best thing you can do is just write it down. Write it all out and make it part of your plan. Writing things down has this super positive mental effect that can actually help you overcome even more obstacles than you originally thought.
  • Emotional intelligence within yourself and within the world around you is more important than you think when it comes to overcoming obstacles. To overcome something that is bugging you; you need to actually FEEL your feelings. Don’t drink them, don’t smoke them, don’t eat your feelings. Just FEEL them. It can be messy and you may cry and be upset – but in the end it is worth it. I think the feelings part is kind of intertwined with acceptance. Accepting that something is wrong, or that something needs to be overcome can have a huge emotional strain. But once you accept whatever it is, it is one step closer to defeating the problem or obstacle that you face.
  • Ask for help! If you’re anything like me, you’re a stubborn ass who never wants to ask for help. Pride does get the best of us at times! It really does happen. However; sometimes it is actually okay to ask for help. If you have a team of people, or family or friends who support you and genuinely care, don’t be afraid to ask them for help in overcoming what you are facing.

These are some things that anyone can utilize. The main thing you need to do is just run at those obstacles head-on. Charge yourself up, and face them without fear. In the end, it will always be for the best. Obstacles are constant, learning lessons.

They help us build character and gain life experience, so don’t fret. You have to face your fears like a true warrior. You are the leader of your own battle. Armor up and be ready. It will all be okay!

New Life

Poetry
Here is a thing you should know. 
When love is true it doesn't need to be proven. 
It's just something you can feel. 
Like a vibe. A sudden burst of energy. 

Like a ray of sunshine, you feel the heat touch your skin. 
You just know it's there. 
She didn't have to prove to you. You know she cared. 
But the best part now is all the time and energy she put into you - 

Now it goes into her. 
Right where it should have been all along. 
She thanks the gods every day,
The moon, and the stars - 
For showing her the way.

The goddesses too,
For leading her down a path -
To where she'd never have to see you, 
Ever again in her life. 

She's happier than ever that she is not yours!
And even more ecstatic that she's
Not a wife. 
2 Years. 

Two years ago today, 
She thought you'd be together forever. 
Two years ago today, she'd never forgotten your face. 
Now she can barely remember your name. 
The memory and pain,
It haunts her - but not all the time. 

Her brain, it wants her;
To Leave you Behind. 
Just like you did to her heart. 
She just doesn't understand why you even had to start. 


Some things are better left unanswered;
Now she doesn't care if she will ever know. 
See. Despite any difficulties, 
Her life has improved drastically since you left. 
In fact, she said she feels 
Like she was saved from sudden death. 


She thinks of it as some sort of a "Divine Intervention"
It's really that magical. 
She laughs out loud now if someone even 
mentions your name. 
Although she is still healing, 
she no longer has the feelings; 

Of her heart sinking deep 
into seas of anguish and misery.
Chained down by an anchor of sorrow.  
She is Lied to, not anymore. Not her. 
She was relieved when you walked out the door. 
Your exit gave her a better tomorrow. 

And when you said goodbye, for the hundredth last time; 
That goodbye was the opening of the doors 
to her New Life. 

I wrote this poem one night while laying on the couch. It was after a long day of work, and I was all alone with nothing but my thoughts. Being alone is not something that I’m really afraid of anymore. I think at one point, I may have been. Due to that fear, I put myself into some really ugly situations. If it wasn’t for those “situations”, this poem would not have been born. This just emphasizes my personal belief that most certainly everything happens for a reason.

Paper and Pen

Poetry
The paper doesn't yell. 
It doesn't tell me I'm wrong. 
The pen leads the way. 
It listens to what I have to say.
The pen encourages me to sing my song. 

The paper doesn't judge me. 
It knows all of my issues. 
The paper carries my weight. 

It calls out to me saying, 
I miss you. 
Come back. 

I have PTSD from my past. 
Sometimes it creeps up to haunt me. 
Like waiting for the suspense in a story 
To turn into a climax. 

Except unlike a story, 
I have no conclusion. 
There is no resolution. 
Only confusion. 

Sometimes I think I'm doing well. 
Other times I am compelled 
To stay inside all day. 
I don't want to play. 

Conversations happen. 
And that is it. 
They happen. 
When arguments exist,
I shut down. 
I'd rather walk away. 

Despite my exterior,
I hate confrontation. 
I don't WANT to hurt other people. 
Although I know I am MORE than capable. 
Being called names, or judged 
Just for simply 
Speaking my opinion. 

Stuff like this is the reason;
Why I let the seasons pass. 
I'm not meant to be human. 
What am I? 

Smart and kind and loving. 
Successful. 
That is what they say. 
But on the inside 
I hide. 

Everything. 
The anxiety. The guilt. 
The fire and the rage. 
Sometimes it all goes so fast 
I can't even remember the day. 
I don't know my own name. 

Hiding my true form, nobody understands. 
I don't want to touch you, please don't hold my hand. 

Without some sense of intelligence - 
I'm not into it. 
Without some emotional expression 
and connection 
It's irrelevant.

Just go away. 
I Tell them and myself everyday. 
My intention isn't to hurt. 
I'm just fully misunderstood. 

By the everyday happenings, 
That I never thought would. 

You can't get what you want from me now, 
So you treat me like a b*tch. 
Tired of this world, 
I've got more than a 7 year itch. 

Paper and pen. 
My only friends. 
They don't get mad. 
They let me in. 

Paper and pen, accept me for who I am. 
What do I need humans for, ever again?